You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.
Psalm 139
The thought that God is interested in us will either fill us with dread or wonder. In a really personal way the writer of the psalm tells us how God is interested in us. His interest starts right from conception and spans the course of our whole life.
We want to look at how showing interest in one another enhances our marriage relationships and how we can cultivate that attitude so that we have great marriages.
BEFORE MARRIAGE
DISCUSS: How could you tell your partner was interested in you before you got married and how did you reciprocate that interest?
In an article in the independent online newspaper Olivia Petter, a lifestyle writer, talked about how you can tell if someone is interested in you and she stated some results from studies conducted. Your body language, like rolling up your sleeves, is meant to be an indicator of interest, talking about mundane things, remembering what someone said, touching, trying to impress, not leaving the other person guessing about the next date, random communication and expressing how they feel. These are all signs someone is interested in you.
Most people marry based on the fact that they are engaged to someone who is interested in them and their world and they are also interested in their partner’s world, but what happens after marriage and how do we keep the level of interest going and what impact does showing interest have on a relationship?
THE POWERFUL IMPACT OF INTEREST
In his book ‘How to affair proof your marriage’ the author Gary Neuman spoke about the need to communicate regularly with each other to stay connected. When we are shown interest our sense of worth and value is increased and enhanced. That is why most relationships begin by someone showing interest in another person.
When someone shows interest in YOU, your sense of…
- Value is enhanced
- Worth is validated
- Wellbeing is encouraged
All of these have a positive impact on our person and it encourages further interaction with the world around us.
THE VULNERABILITY OF INTEREST WITHDRAWN
When a man or woman exists in a relationship where no interest is shown in their opinions, values and activities, an invisible chasm slowly develops between the parties and the longer that continues the wider the chasm becomes.
In a situation where this happens the opportunity for emotional attachment decreases and the injured party can become vulnerable if someone shows interest in them.
The man who pays no attention to his wife’s interests and likes, leaves her vulnerable to someone else who thinks she is amazing and wants to engage with her world.
THE CHALLENGE
So how do we continue being interested in the person we are married to? The truth is, showing interest in another person can be tough simply because we are all inherently selfish and different. Whilst we have common interests with our partners they are shaped differently from us and experience the world differently to us. So how do we stay interested and let our partner know we are interested in them?
- Listen to them
- Know what is important to them
- Engage with their world
- Initiate and invest in their interest
- Die to self – Ask God to help
- Learn the beauty of their world
- Be genuine
One amazing truth about the Christian faith is that it’s about the relationship with Jesus and He is not just interested in the beginning of the relationship but the ongoing relationship. The writer of Hebrews states “He’s there from now to eternity to save everyone who comes to God through him, always on the job to speak up for them. Hebrews 7:25
